Posts Tagged: Happiness

Do You Indulge In Wishful Thinking?

Do you indulge in wishful thinking? Do you stick your head in the sand and pretend that everything is going to magically get better? Whether it’s a dead end job, blocked progression at work, feeling stuck in a career you hate with financial responsibilities like a millstone around your neck or a relationship on the road to hell rather than heaven, it’s easy to pretend and avoid confronting it.

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Relationships Are Like Runner Beans

If I forget or don’t make time to visit my allotment for a couple of days, the runner beans get too big and aren’t very nice, so they are wasted. If I visit more often and pick them, I am rewarded by delicious beans without strings attached. Not only that, but the more I pick, the more beans grow, so giving them a little attention means they are more productive.

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What Floats Your Boat?

Success and what it means is such an individual thing isn’t it, but it doesn’t always feel like that. I find that a lot of people are living lives and doing jobs that actually don’t give them what they want. Our society is hugely money and status driven, but research shows that after a certain point, it doesn’t affect happiness. We can feel pressure to work harder and push for promotion and get a better house or car, when actually what we want is to have more time. Many people do ‘shoulds, oughts and musts’ when actually doing what they want would float their boat a lot more. In coaching we call it living life by your values – i.e. what’s important to you.

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Ever Feel A Hamster?

Many people feel like a hamster on a wheel, very bored and very dizzy. One of my clients e mailed me saying shehas found a new home giving her a 3 minute bike ride to work and a shed in the garden to create sculptures, her next career.3 minsgets the award for a short commute! She had been commuting from Gloucestershire to Buckinghamshire in rush hour each day, so had really poor work life balance, no time to do the hobbies she wanted, spent her weekends recovering from the week, only to find it was Monday morning. Her closest relationship was with a glass to wind down after work because she didn’t have the time or energy to see friends during the week.

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Do You Ever Wake Up Like A Bear With A Sore Head?

Waking up feeling grumpy isn’t the best start to the day, especially pre disappearing into the bowels of public transport or the long commute.

The good news is that you can manage your grumpy bear – as if by magic. Yes really. We don’t get taught at school or college how to deal with difficult emotions, so they can fester and then we give them to someone else, a bit like throwing a cow pat – nice gift! It’s called projection and often we don’t realise we are doing this.

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Is your boss a bit of a dragon?

If so, this quote is for you:

“It will not do to leave a live dragon out of your plans if you live near one

J.R.R. Tolkien

Have a relaxing weekend (unless you are working all weekend ona pitch that is)

Rachel Brushfield
Energise – The Talent Liberation Company
Tel: + 44 (0) 845 22 55 010
Mobile: + 44(0) 7973 911137
E mail:

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Why People Are Like Vegetables

I am heading to my allotment to water it with no prospect of rain in sight, and am pondering the thought that people are like vegetables. They need watering. Different people need to be watered in different ways as they have different values, needs and motivations. If only we came with an instruction manual, like a car or washing machine, it would be a lot easier.

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Chip On The Shoulder? Ketchup With That?

It’s a weird expression isn’t it; ‘Chip on the shoulder’. I don’t know where the expression comes from and whether it’s a “a bit missing kind of chip” or a potato chip?! My interpretation of what it means is that it’s a sensitivity or insecurity that creates an over-reaction as we are looking for evidence to back it up and ‘feed the monster’!Chips that I have encountered include; feeling on the outside looking in and excluded; not building rapport; or feeling we are not intelligent enough or creative enough. So we over-notice what other people say and do to prove our perception and then overreact as the chip is activated. Since there are an awful lot of people out there, that’s a lot of ‘chips’ and feeling vulnerable or dealing with uncertainty can magnify the overreaction. In a political or creative culture, there can be a lot of chips rattling around which inhibit full productivity and performance. Self awareness is key, but a lot of people are cynical about personal development, especially strongly ‘left brainers;. Chips on the shoulder` are worth looking at because they can stop people from doing what they really want and truly being happy and fulfilled. A good way is to explore the limiting beliefs that have created the chip – it’s a but like clearing out the loft and creating space for good new things to happen. What’s your chip and what does it stop you from doing that you would like to? What are the chips of people close to you?

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How Merry Are you Feeling This Monday?

Do you ever have a bad day and wish you’d stayed in bed, venturing no further than your nose peeking out of the duvet? We’re very good aren’t we at asking ‘how are you?’ It’s one of those stock phrases, but the truth is that this phrase is used more as a conversational cul de sac, than a genuine interest for how you are feeling. It might be a fun experiment to answer it honestly today at work, so instead of saying ‘fine’ or ‘great’ to say how you really feel and notice the reaction.

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Do you suffer from the ‘impostor’ syndrome too?

It’s very common, people don’t talk about it and it creates anxiety and unease. It can stop people from promoting their own successes at work.What is the ‘impostor’ syndrome? It is the feeling that your success has happened by accident, one day it’s going to catch up with you, you will be ‘found out’ and your employer will discover that you are not really as good as they thought you were.I have coached many people and I can reassure you that EVERYONE suffers from the ‘impostor’ syndrome at some time or other. That includes me! Low self-esteem is common and we all worry about whether we are ‘good enough’ in certain situations if not all. Naturally this is bound to increase when we are worried about losing our job in a tough market and when competition for promotions if employed or consultancy work if self-employed is very high.In coaching we call things like the ‘impostor’ syndrome Gremlins – they are the voices of your limiting beliefs that create noisy negative mental chatter and do your head in. Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you are going mad. It’s quite normal – we just don’t talk about it. I have got about 7 Gremlins and I discovered a new one the other day too! I’ll have to get a referee up there soon to manage the crowd. Ask yourself: “In what specific situations is my ‘impostor’ most likely to make an appearance and what’s the trigger?Remember that you are not alone!Tips to keep your ‘impostor’ syndrome in check? 1) Most people suffer from the ‘impostor’ syndrome. I have only met one person who had no limiting beliefs at all – that’s called a fluke/miracle/delusion! 2) Spend 5 mins at the end of each day reflecting on what’s gone well. If you haven’t been discovered yet, perhaps you can get away with it after all?! 3) Picture your ‘impostor’ in an over-the-top disguise – it’ll make you laugh and relax you.Have a sunny weekend!PS – Next Energise Steer your career workshop Monday 5July – look at our web site:

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